What I Chose to Unlearn Before I Gave Birth
We typically watch a family movie with our kids once a week and my son is adamant about watching only funny movies with no “bad guys” or scary scenes (Understandably; Why Disney movies always have children orphaned in the first 15 minutes in a “kids movie” is beyond me, but I digress).
So, last weekend we watched Cheaper by the Dozen with Steve Martin (it passed the funny test) although there was an unexpected scene that I had to pause and explain thoroughly to my son: a birth scene. The woman was frantically rushed to the hospital as soon as her water broke, wheel-chaired to an unfamiliar room with bright lights, lied on her back on the hospital bed, and immediately attended by over 20 visitors immediately after the birth.
Media-depicted hospital birth vs. Free birth in power
Quite the contrast to his current understanding of birth. You see, what my son knows of birth is that it’s a safe, family event that happens in the home, it often takes time to unfold and that women’s bodies are fully capable of functioning right up until emergence.
He remembers going for a family walk the night before and seeing me stop to squat and breathe through labor sensations and then continue walking.
As I was reading him bedtime stories the night before I gave birth, he remembers me rolling over to sway my hips and breathe, encouraging me to "get your wiggles out, mama" then roll back over to continue reading with him.
He remembers waking up to me moaning in the birth pool, using solely movement and my breath to take in the intricate internal communication between my body and my baby to safely bring him earthside, because that’s what the “pain” is right?
Just like any other symptom- birth sensations are communication; a dynamic dance between mother and baby so beautifully designed to ensure the very best outcome, so long as it’s unintervened.
You see, the hormonal cascade of birth, just as it is with your menstrual cycle (but amplified), is responsive to your environment: your stressors, your thoughts and the energies around you.
What kind of energies do you want present in your birth space?
Are you willing to allow the physiological unfolding of birth to be disturbed, knowing its role on impacting outcomes?
Drop your email and get my FREE Pregnancy & Birth Affirmations download!
The modern medicalized birth model subliminally teaches women several things:
That something is bound to go “wrong”
That our bodies can’t be trusted
That medical interventions are needed in all births
That pain or challenge is something to escape
That it’s okay to take in fentanyl at birth (but it’s not okay to eat soft cheese and sushi in pregnancy 🤔🤔)
The list is incredibly long!
But I want you to think for a moment, what beliefs do you have about birth?
Where did those beliefs come from?
Envision Your Motherhood Transition
I found the preconception period to be the best time to envision my birth dreams, not for selfish reasons, but for the long-term health of my children.
As I was preparing to become a mother, I learned that a baby’s initiation into the world imprints lasting impacts on the maternal-infant bond,
on baby’s microbiome,
on baby’s susceptibility to disease,
on baby’s chances of successful breastfeeding,
on baby’s ability to feel and receive love,
on baby’s baseline mood regulation, and more.
Giving birth as our bodies were designed is about far more than a superficial social trophy;
in addition to intentional preconception preparation, gifting our babies resilient health is one of the greatest gifts they will ever receive.
If you’re reading this and are feeling triggered, I would encourage you to listen to that feeling and inquire deeper within. I’d encourage you to consider the possibility that if your stories around birth, told by mothers, sisters, friends, and media position the medical system as a hero and pathologize a woman’s body, that there may be another side of birth to get curious more about. A side that- in the grand scheme of things- is not often told.
After having the most beautiful births at home, I can’t stand to witness any more women entering motherhood infantilized, traumatized and distrusting of their bodies.
Resources for becoming your own authority in pregnancy and birth
So today I wanted to share some resources where you can learn more about your responsibility to your child in birth as you prepare to become a mother.
Nourish Yourself
I recognize that you are the sole-authority over your body so in all of my coaching sessions, you as the client are 100% in control of the direction you’d like to take your health-care efforts. My recommendations are always suggestions based on my clinical and personal experience and review of the evidence, scientific, traditional and anecdotal. Together we will agree on a plan based on what resonates with you and what needs and goals are of utmost priority.
Optimally nourishing yourself in preparation for and during pregnancy can be SO protective of ensuring a healthy pregnancy and birth experience with the best outcomes. Don’t be afraid to want more than just a healthy baby, your health matters too and preparing in advance for this most nutritionally-expensive task can preserve your physical and mental health after birth as well.
My coaching program Resilient Motherhood is for you if you are preconception and desire to “do it right” the first time.
Or maybe you are already pregnant and…
Want to fully nourish your growing babe while preserving your health along the way
Desire another pregnancy without the symptoms and complications you experienced in previous pregnancies
Need help navigating common challenges of pregnancy like nausea, food aversions, constipation and blood sugar dysregulation
Have been (or want to avoid being) diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes and want to optimize your chances of a normal birth and healthy baby
My Bloom & Nourish: Personalized Nutrition Coaching to Transform Your Pregnancy package is for you!
Inform Yourself
I personally found listening to other women’s birth stories to be so inspiring, which is why I binged the Free Birth Society Podcast episodes where women shared their stories of birth outside the medical system, on their own terms, with many variations of normal (first time births, subsequent births, vaginal births after cesareans-VBAC, breech births, twin births, still births, opting out of rhogam, cords wrapped around the neck, etc.).
Unfortunately, many women find free birth after they’ve already experienced one extremely medicalized birth and say, “never again”. Kind of like those of you who resonate with my work of preconception preparation- because you’ve regretfully learned the hard way- that holistically preparing your body for pregnancy is essential and so protective of healthy outcomes.
And although learning from stories is one amazing way to unlearn your culturally-influenced beliefs and piece together your new thoughts and beliefs about birth, if you or your partner have specific questions as it relates to certain risks or realities about birth, I’d highly recommend The Complete Guide to Freebirth, created by Emilee Saldaya (host of the FBS podcast) and Yolande Norris-Clark (author of the soon-to-be-released book, Portal).
Even though I had already done so much learning in preparation for and after my first birth, I knew there were ways my birth experience could have been better and I also wanted my husband to have the opportunity to unlearn certain beliefs about birth and feel confident with my choice to birth our next child unattended at home.
Whether or not you have decided to have a medical birth attendant present, for some of you it may be too soon to even think about it, I would encourage taking this course to get curious and simply as childbirth education. Just as your body has safeguards to ensure you choose the healthiest sperm of all to conceive (<<read my new blog post about that here), you'll learn what safeguards your body has in place to ensure the safety of you and your baby in pregnancy and birth.
The creators of The Complete Guide to Freebirth have just recently announced that they’ve exceeded $5 million in gross sales, serving over 15,000 women to enhance their birth experiences and the lives of all those children, myself and my child being one of them.
So, in celebration for reaching this milestone, they have put the course up for a flash sale of 50% OFF until TUESDAY 8/15 (tomorrow), bringing the price from $399 to $199 using the code THRIVING.
In all transparency, I am sharing an affiliate link for the CGTF course which means I receive 10% of your investment but if you’ve seen all my Instagram posts about birth and listened to my birth stories or read about my free birth experience here, you will know that I am genuinely recommending this course and the compensation I receive from it is simply an expression of reciprocity.
Whether you are preconception or very pregnant, if you feel like this is your next stage of learning/unlearning right now on your motherhood journey, then please don’t hesitate to invest in The Complete Guide to Freebirth, you won’t regret it!
What questions do you have about free birth? Drop them in the comments!
