Am I (still) pregnant?: navigating doubt in early pregnancy

Written By Anisa Woodall, MS CN

Newly pregnant?

But you feel like you just keep testing to make sure it's still positive and feel like you're just waiting for the other shoe to drop?
​
You need a mindset reframe!

​

Get my Daily Affirmations for Early Pregnancy today!

    We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe at any time.

    Have you been trying to conceive and you’re either in your two week wait or you’re newly pregnant and you’re just feeling like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop? Are you afraid to get excited, to allow yourself to experience the joy of being pregnant because you may have had a short luteal phase or a history of pregnancy loss? You wake up every morning to check your BBT or do another pregnancy test- “am I pregnant yet?” “am I still pregnant??” The anxiety can feel overwhelming. I created this episode to help you navigate this mysterious period of the unknown.

    In this episode of the Resilient Fertility Podcast, we’ll explore:

    • How your luteal phase length can be an important sign that you need to optimize nutrition on your preconception journey

    • The necessary role of worry and fear on your conception journey

    • How to set boundaries with your fear

    • Positive affirmations to say during your TWW or early pregnancy

    • Whether you should you share the news with your friends and family in early pregnancy

    • How to start reframing your mindset from distrust to recognizing your body’s wisdom

    Work with me:

    Resources Referenced:

    Episode transcript

    Have you been trying to conceive and you’re either in your two week wait or you’re newly pregnant and you’re just feeling like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop?

    You wake up every morning to check your BBT or do another pregnancy test- “am I pregnant yet?” “am I still pregnant??”

    The anxiety can feel overwhelming.

    I know the feeling- I conceived on my first try with both children (after years of preconception preparation and optimizing my fertility) and my head was still filled with what ifs.

    What if this doesn’t go as planned?

    What if I have to wait ANOTHER cycle before feeling the excitement I so badly dream of?

    Going through this mental gymnastics cycle after cycle can feel draining.

    I just had a conversation with a client who is still very early in her pregnancy. This session was spent, “talking her off the ledge” so to speak.

    You see, she has come a LONG way on her fertility journey. She struggled to conceive her first child and found herself in a place where she wanted to do EVERYTHING in her power to avoid that struggle the second time around. I find these are some of the most motivated clients who I work with- I shared more about they why behind this in episode 9: “Your first pregnancy is not a trial run”

    But even though she had conceived, she was concerned that her fertility wasn’t yet at a place where she would be able to maintain a pregnancy.

    When she began working with me, her cycles were vastly irregular, her basal body temperatures were low and her energy was rock bottom. Though she so desperately wanted to have another child, she couldn’t imagine how because she was so tired all the time.

    Now the next couple of months that we were working together, as she was implementing a lot of what I had been recommending specifically for her body and personal situation:

    • her cycles began normalizing, going from being 50+ days long to consistently less than 35 days long.

    • Her cervical mucus was improving,

    • Her pre-ovulatory temperatures were rising,

    • Her energy was rising,

    • Her libido was improving!

    • She’s been making every sign of objective progress possible on this journey.

      And I’ve been so proud of her, the discipline and effort she’s putting in is visibly paying off!

    And as Jocko Willink says, and something I have found to be SO true for myself and my clients:

    discipline equals freedom.

    Now she was finally pregnant, after a single effort!

    But because of her short luteal phase in her previous cycles, she's going down the rabbit hole of what ifs and the anxiety is kicking in. She’s googling “what is the possibility of maintaining a pregnancy with a history of a 10 day luteal phase”?

    Let’s take a side bar for a second:

    What is a short luteal phase and can it be predictive of infertility issues?

    For those of you who may be wondering, your luteal phase is the stage between ovulation and your next period or pregnancy. An ideal length reflecting robust progesterone is 12-14 days. This is because the endometrial tissue needs to be nourished and thickened enough to support an optimal environment for a fertilized egg to implant.

    Even though progesterone plays a crucial role in creating the right environment in the uterus for conception, a short luteal phase or what modern reproductive medicine likes to call a condition called luteal phase defect (LPD)- hasn't been clearly linked to taking longer to get pregnant or infertility.

    I don’t like using this term of Luteal phase defect or LPD because it can make a woman feel like her body is defective for having short luteal phases.

    It’s not a defect or dysfunction- it’s an important sign necessitating further inquiry and habit change to address and improve.

    In a short luteal phase, the endometrium (lining of the uterus) doesn't develop properly during the specific time when an embryo is in the uterus and ready to implant. So, if a woman experiences a shorter luteal phase, it might mean that anembryo may have less likelihood of implanting or the pregnancy being sustained- at least that’s what the research suggests.

    Looking towards the research on this,

    one study included 284 women aged 30–44 who were trying to get pregnant and did not have known fertility issues. The authors reviewed 1,635 cycles from these 284 women. The main focus was to observe their ability to conceive in the following cycle.

    Results showed that 18% of the observed cycles had a short luteal phase - so about 1 in 5 women- (what they defined as 11 days or less, including the day of ovulation), and the average luteal phase length was 14 days. Worth noting is thatmore women with a short luteal phase were found to be smokers.

    After adjusting for age, the study found that women with a short luteal phase had 0.82 times the odds of pregnancy in the cycle immediately following the short luteal phase compared to women without a short luteal phase. This suggests a potential negative impact on short-term fertility (though statistically insignificant, in this study).

    However, when looking at the bigger picture, women with a short luteal phase in the first observed cycle had lower fertility in the first 6 months of attempting pregnancy. At the 12-month mark, there was no significant difference in the overall probability of getting pregnant between women with and without a short luteal phase.

    In conclusion, while a single cycle with a short luteal phase may affect short-term fertility, the study didn't find a significantly higher rate of infertility after 12 months among these women.


    Crawford NM, Pritchard DA, Herring AH, Steiner AZ. Prospective evaluation of luteal phase length and natural fertility. Fertil Steril. 2017 Mar;107(3):749-755. doi: 10.1016/j.fertnstert.2016.11.022. Epub 2017 Jan 5. PMID: 28065408; PMCID: PMC5337433.

    Are you doing the math and listening to this thinking wait I have a short luteal phase, do I need to support my progesterone production?

    Especially if you’re experiencing other signs of low progesterone, like mid-cycle spotting or spotting for days before your period, A shortened menstrual cycle (<24 days) especially one with (<10 days), a drop in basal body temperature (BBT) before 10 days post-ovulation, chronic/situational stress, or you’re over age 35, it is definitely worth dedicating some effort to improving your body’s ability to produce progesterone naturally by supporting egg quality. (I speak for to that in this blog post: Are you making enough progesterone?)

    Though age isn’t the only determining factor of fertility and egg quality, unfortunately, the older you are the more oxidative stress your ovaries need to combat due to insufficient antioxidant function and mitochondrial energy.

    Antioxidants counteract the high levels of Reactive oxygen species (ROS) derived from mitochondrial metabolism, reducing damage to the cell. However, when there are insufficient antioxidants in comparison to the ROS produced, this can lead to oxidative stress. This increased unopposed oxidative stress can result in reduced egg quality which can lead to insufficient progesterone levels.

    Egg quality is not only important because it helps you to produce enough progesterone and to be able to maintain a healthy pregnancy but it’s also important because it protects the DNA of your developing embryo reducing the risk for chromosomal abnormalities and potential pregnancy loss.

    This is why my Resilient Motherhood approach addresses factors like reducing oxidative stress, improving antioxidant production, and maximizing mitochondrial energy production.

    And if you’re trying to conceive, plan to start a family soon or simply want to preserve your fertility for when you’re ready. I highly recommend FullWell Fertility’s expert-formulated Fertility Booster- it’s is a potent antioxidant blend with powerhouse fertility ingredients ALA. CoQ10, NAC, and ashwagandha properly-dosed, in highly-bioavailable forms. Just
    two capsules a day can help supercharge reproductive cell power and support your body’s free radical defenses.

    Get my affiliate discount using the link in my show notes.!

    So back to my story with this client...

    On our next 1:1 call, she sought assurance.

    She wanted me to tell her exactly what week gestation I thought she was in and why she hasn’t started experiencing nausea yet.

    She wanted to know exactly what the chances of her maintaining this pregnancy were.

    She was afraid to get excited, to allow herself to experience the joy of being pregnant.

    Regardless of the outcome- of whether you maintain a pregnancy or not- you are allowed to feel joy, to relish in the beauty of being pregnant, even if only for 6 weeks, 7, weeks or more or less.

    The joy and the worry CAN coexist.

    She wanted me to tell her whether or not she should tell anyone that she’s pregnant. For fear of loss.

    “What if I lose the pregnancy?”

    “What if my body fails?”

    “What if…?!”

    Recognizing that the more and more she went down this rabbit hole, the more stressed and worried she was getting, so I stopped her and I said.

    What if…?

    The beauty of being a woman is that we have the capacity to hold both birth AND death. We are the portals of life, channeling the essence of our Creator. But with the privilege and responsibility of bringing forth life, we also have the honor and responsibility to hold death. Something that is fully within our capability as women, otherwise God would have given this task to the men. But he didn’t. Only women give birth and only we have the capacity to hold death.

    Something that my birthkeeper Karlin and my friend Leah has helped me to understand- I’ll link some resources in the show notes for those of you seeking to reframe your mindset around pregnancy loss and stillbirth.

    Some of you may be wondering, why didn’t I state a disclaimer…

    why would I talk about death on a podcast where all you want is a live baby and emotions can be tender.

    It’s because this is a truth that every pregnant woman must face. This can be a difficult truth to surrender to and accept, especially if you have lost a pregnancy before or held your stillborn baby in your hands.

    As much as we want to be- we are not in charge.

    But even if you haven’t experienced pregnancy loss- Even being pregnant for the first time, part of the work of pregnancy is facing this possibility, looking this lion in the face and surrendering and saying: “I won’t play your game.” I won’t ALLOW this fear, this anxiety, this worry to steal my joy and my peace.

    So, I told this client. It’s okay to worry on your conception journey. Worry and fear actually play a critical role they are GREAT motivators- motivators to do everything in your power to maintain a pregnancy.

    But beyond that- worry and fear will only steal your joy.

    So, I said, Let’s look at the possibilities and what YOU KNOW to be true.

    Let’s write some affirmations that you can turn to when you feel this worry and fear start to creep in. Read them at the start of every day and every time you turn out the light. Read them every moment you feel a sense of uncertainty. Read them so often or put them into song so that you can recite them by heart.

    Affirmations are so powerful!

    So, I asked her what she WANTs to believe, but finds anxiety taking over.

    Here’s what we came up with together, and if you too can benefit from them, you can download a PDF at the link in my show notes:

    • I have faith that even if the odds are slimmer that this can still be a healthy pregnancy.

    • I trust the wisdom of my body.

    • I am detached from the outcome and trust that there is wisdom in any outcome.

    • I have the capacity to hold space for myself and others on my journey to becoming a mother again.

    • No matter the outcome- My body is showing every sign of making progress towards birthing my second babe.

    • Not every fruit was made to be eaten.

    • I allow my worry and fear to inform my action but I don't let it overwhelm. I submit and surrender to the mystery.

    Newly pregnant?

    But you feel like you just keep testing to make sure it's still positive and feel like you're just waiting for the other shoe to drop?
    ​
    You need a mindset reframe!

    ​

    Get my Daily Affirmations for Early Pregnancy today!

      We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe at any time.


      Now another big question you might have is:

      To tell or not to tell?

      Deciding whether or not you want to tell someone that you’re pregnant is a very personal decision and can depend on a lot of factors.

      • How long have you been trying to conceive?

      • Do you have a history of pregnancy loss?

      • How would you feel if you had to share the news with someone if you lost a pregnancy? On the other hand how would you feel going through this experience completely isolated?

      • In your personal situation- would you rather share the moments of joy and possibility grief with your loved ones or would you rather keep them to yourself and your husband?

      • How do you think people would react? Would they be awkward or supportive?

        • If you’re not feeling super confident and feel like your chances are slimmer for whatever reason, You could just take the honest route and say "I'm on the road to restoring my fertility and I don't feel super confident right now, there is always potential for loss but I'm excited and want to share this news with you"

        • Or you could simply say it without the disclaimer- “I’m so excited and I want you to witness me in this journey”

      Now another big question is...

      To test or not to test?

      • Again this is a very personal choice and to me, it really comes down to: which option will provide you the most peace?

        • Will taking a pregnancy test every day provide more stress or more peace? Will it help you trust your body more or does it create disconnection?

        • It’s okay to experience blind joy- meaning that you’re finding peace with the mystery and that your body will let you know if you need to question it.

      • And for those of you perhaps not testing but you’re taking your BBT daily and checking it to make sure you’re “still pregnant”.

      • This is your friendly reminder that Taking BBT is like taking a pregnancy test - it’s still important to consider what insights will you gain? is the potential for worry worth the loss of peace?

      • I personally would put my energy towards positive affirmations and tuning in more to my body, witnessing it in the process.

      So, If you find yourself worrying and stressing allow that worry to inform your action.

      Are you doing everything in your power to support successful conception and maintaining a pregnancy?

      There is so much that is not in your power and it is never your fault if you lose a pregnancy. There is always a reason- whether we can logically understand why or not- that a pregnancy is not maintained and I trust that for every loss, there is wisdom behind it.

      At the same time, there is so much that you can do to naturally improve progesterone production, to optimize your cycle signs and length, to increase your chances of carrying a healthy baby to term and to experience a pregnancy you feel good about.

      If you’re pregnant and you’re feeling like you weren’t in a state of optimal health in preconception and want to do your best to nourish this pregnancy optimally-

      I’d love to work with you in my Bloom & Nourish holistic pregnancy nutrition coaching.

      If you are still in your conscious conception journey…

      and you are ready to do whats in your power to normalize your cycles, extend your reproductive longevity, and prepare for your dream baby then my course Resilient Motherhood is for you. Please check it out at the link in the show notes, you’ll get a special offer to it when you watch my FREE masterclass Unlock your fertility.

      Thank you for being here with me for this vulnerable discussion and I would love to hear what you took from it, feel free to send me a DM on instagram @anisawoodallnutrition!

      I’m rooting for you on this journey!

      Anisa Woodall, MS CN
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